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Use technology carefully as you divorce

You enjoy using technology. You have different social media sites that you visit regularly. You like to text and email. You like the way you can stay connected with friends and family. You get to see pictures and updates in an instant. You follow accounts that give you mom-tips. With just one click, you can find fun workout routines, what’s happening at the farmer’s market and the latest information from around town. You stay connected with your neighborhood email group. You even have several group messages that stay live in your text-history.

You may be tempted to use these technologies to vent your feelings. In some cases, this is okay. In others, it is not.

You will want to be wary of technology throughout your divorce process. Your technology usage may cause problems.

Dont talk about or bash your soon-to-be ex.

You may want to vent to a friend or two, or send your spouse a ranting email, but this may backfire. Text messages, emails and even social media posts may be used against you. Talking about your ex could threaten your character. You don’t want your words to be misconstrued to sound harassing or threatening. You will want to avoid any conversations that involve bragging or showing off a new lifestyle.

Dont suddenly delete and block.

If your divorce is due to infidelity or other major disagreements, it may be hard not to want to cut off your ex. It is natural to want to claim your new space. Deleting and blocking may make it look like you are trying to hide something or destroy evidence. Instead, you should consider adjusting the privacy settings on your social media accounts. Keep in mind that one of your friends may share or screenshot a post. Create a folder within your email that is dedicated to your spouse, and organize your account. You will want to try to keep communication civil.

Dont implicate your financial situation.

You probably don’t post or talk about your income online, but you can make implications without realizing. Talking about vacations or purchases may show you as having more money. Social media “check-in” features and new reviews of restaurants or purchases could be misleading. Even if you and your soon-to-be ex are on good terms, it is best to avoid documenting any activity that could be used as financial implications.

What about after the divorce?

After your divorce has been finalized, you should still refrain from any bad-mouthing or bashing. Talk to your ex about writing a joint statement to post announcing your divorce. It is best if the two of you can do this together. You don’t need to give too much detail. You should also talk about how you will respond—if you choose to respond—to any questions from friends and family.

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